Proud

While I was running this morning (aka my therapy session), I felt something I’m not sure I ever have. I felt pride. Normally, if I feel pride, it’s in my daughter, my partner, or maybe even in a project I have completed. Today was different. Today I felt pride in ME. All of the sudden, I thought to myself, “You are doing awesome, girl!” I began thinking about obstacles I have overcome through the years and where I am in my life today. From my early teens and onward, I wasn’t exactly headed in what people would consider the “right” direction. I have made a ton of mistakes. I have been knocked down (literally and metaphorically). I have hurt others and myself. I have been abused (physically and mentally). I have been to the darkest corners of the darkest places. Through all of that, today I am living in light. I seriously doubt many, or even myself for that matter, imagined I would be in the place I am now. I have an incredible family whom I absolutely cherish. I am raising a little girl and doing a damn good job of it. I am back in school working towards my bachelor’s degree, and with a 4.0 GPA to boot. I have a close-knit group of friends who I am sure would do literally anything for me (and vice versa). For these things, I am immensely proud. So proud in fact, that I was honestly in tears running today. For the first time, I was considering just how many struggles I have stood fast against. I have not only survived, but excelled. I am still excelling. There are so many battles we fight along the way. Needless to say, I have lost a few, but in the grand scheme of things, I am winning. Comprehending this is what struck my emotions today. The pride in myself, which I have described, is a feeling I want to hold on to for dear life. Things will not always be bright and sunny, but no matter what, I will keep going. I will continue to knock down anything that gets in my way. I will keep being the person I am-the person that makes me feel proud. Love who you are because there is no one else like you…and never hesitate to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. YOU ARE DOING AWESOME!

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